#but alas it is SO so horribly easy for me to grow fond of a person it is SO so horribly hard to claw my way out of that

[thebirdandhersong]

:'))))))

[jakattax]

I was a lucky kid growing up, my family were largely bohemian and didn’t really pressure me at all to fall into a particular crowd or scene. For the most part I was left to decide my own hobbies and interests, which I feel as a working class northerner is an oddity. I was largely uninterested with anything considered the norm, I found the perception of normality to be terribly boring. I lived in my own mind, fuelled by my still present wild and colourful imagination, and nothing fuelled my imagination more than the idea of magic. Films like the ‘Wizard of Oz’ and ‘Excalibur’ were Bible to me, any media with witches, wizards and sorcerers utterly enamoured thing. I believe this fundamental obsession revolves around the concept of power, that these mystical men and women could achieve the impossible and bend reality by possessing a power that no hero-knight or any other could possess. The wizard or witch was a solitary creature, usually ostracised or eccentric, both qualities I possessed as a child. And so it was a common pastime for me to find the best stick that would act as my staff and to jump around the woods pretending to be Gandalf. I knew that magic could only ever exist in my own imagination and I stuck to this falsehood for many years. After a trip to the goth haven of Whitby with my grandparents, I realised that magic was very much real and was not limited to book, screen or my own closed mind. I bought a hazel wand (inscribed with ‘Blessed Be’ in futhark) from a Wicca supply shop and my first book of magic. This book of shadows was my prized object, with only the media portrayal of magic at my disposal I knew that every enchanter possessed their own book of spells, while mine wasn’t bound in human skin and written in odd runes, it was magic, real magic. Another very vivid memory was that a bought a handsome besom from the same shop, a gorgeous birch broomstick wrapped in colour silk, and so on our trip to the north York moors I placed the broom between my legs and jumped up and down over the heather. Alas I did not fly. Only in my mind.

Wicca was truly my gateway into my magical studies, even though I was very young I had absolute conviction that magic was very much real and tangible, I even recall having a particular fondness for a rain spell which seemed to work without fail. Naturally my new obsession with real magic just pushed me further from the grain of normality, thank God. Yet the older I got I started to become disenchanted. Like all teenagers I went through a period of abandoning childhood fantasies to focus on my image or popularity. Who I socialised with and how I looked over-rided any past passions. It is something I feel remarkably ashamed over, yet adolescence is a period in life in which one wears many masks for the sake of an easy time, even though I was bullied none the less for my bookish and overall weak disposition. But no-one could know I use to dress up in a pointy hat and make it rain. I killed that part of my childhood. This abandonment of magic continued until I was 16.

I was now in college and was the worst sycophant to a particular friend who I followed blindly. He was the coolest kid in college, a Casanova, I was discovering my own sexuality and realised too that I was deeply in love with him. Again I was sacrificing my core personality, but not for long. I was a theatre kid, and bloody good at it too, our first year assessment was based on the performance of a classical monologue. Know I don’t know exactly how I decided on it, or how I even knew of it, but I settled on Marlowe’s ‘Doctor Faustus’ to perform. I was a committed and serious young actor, finally in s subject that I cared for and excelled in so I conducted research into how i wanted to stage the piece. In my mind I wanted the stage littered in books and scraps of paper all bearing occult symbols, yet I didn’t know any. I didn’t want to cheapen the performance by having blank scraps of paper, they needed to be Faustus’ magical and alchemical work, so I used the library computer to find some.

And the gates opened.

Like a child again I was reading about magic, real magic again but this time I found a new mindset. In my research looking up Occult symbols to litter my set with, I came across a name, a name steeped in controversy to this day, the wickedest man in the world; Aleister Crowley. Reading up on Crowley and MacGregor Mathers brought me to a new and dangerous form of magic, the magic of the ceremonial magician. While indeed Wiccans and witches take their art and practise very seriously, there was something about the strict Methodology and science like nature of ceremonial magic that appealed to me more. Changing the weather was great and all but demon conjuration? Intricate magic circles and glyphs? Spirit evocation? Yes please, this was the magic that I wanted. And so I purchased my first Grimoire of ceremonial magic, the Ars Goetia.

This was a book I carried with pride, it was a conversation starter, I was the kid who studied demons. My image had changed after my then best friend moved to university, gone was the preppy and popular false Jack, now was the time for a brooding, dark clothed Jack who read Shelley, Byron and books of demon summoning in his spare time. To be frank it’s not a phase I’ve quite broken yet either.

As enamoured as I was by the Ars Goetia, I was no fool, I knew that in terms of practicality it was something I could not attempt, yet. The magic was complex, the tools seemed impossible to acquire and so I sat on my grand schemes of being a conjured per excellence, yet the flames in my mind were raging.

Three years later I moved to Nottingham for my university education, wonderful city. for the first time in my life I was with strangers who had no preconceived notions about me. I could wear a new mask. Yet I chose the hard path, I was at university so one should act as a university don should, I bought tweed suits from charity shops, wore a bow tie and started to smoke a pipe. I found rebellion by not being normal, fuck normality, the new Jack would never bow down to popularity again. I call my university years some of the darkest of my life, not only because of the daily cocktails of alcohol, drugs and severe bouts of depression but because these were the years in which I honed my craft as a goete.

I had the good fortune of renting flats with basements and because my flatmates were dull football types brainwashed by heteronormative coding, they were naturally scared of it and didn’t go down there. And as horribly cliched and Hollywood as it is, I began conjuring demons in the basement. Even though I had been studying the Goetia for a few years now, I still lacked pretty much everything needed, other than my own conviction. I used chalk for my circle and triangle of art, candles for mood lighting and some sticks of incense and began conversing to the shadows. The crazy thing is, the shadows spoke back. I knew that I had the crossed a threshold in which there was no return, while I had achieved magic with fairly simple effects, now I had truly pierced the veil and was openly seeing, speaking and listening to demons. The glass of reality had cracked, I was in a new world in which magic was the only truth. I had demon spirits perform many many tasks for me, some failed, some excelled. I tried to hone in my skills, realise mistakes and amend them. Then I started branching out, with my knowledge increasing I came into contact with more books, more new information and magic to discover; the Verum, the Cyprian texts, Agrippa, Abra-Melin etc. Etc.

Yet this was closeted. While I was unashamedly eccentric, I had too much against me as a gay man and an oddity. I suffered extreme bullying again and thanks to my depression made a suicide attempt, if anyone knew I was in the basement ordering demons to attack those who wronged me, it would be fatal to me. Or so I thought. The layman perceives magic as nonsense, Harry Potter glitter Magic that simply isn’t real and if you believe in it you either have too many cats or are just delusional. They do not understand that magic and only magic is the highest form of science there is, the microscope or telescope can see hidden things that the eye cannot yet so can a scrying ball. For all the wonders that science can perform and demonstrate, it cannot lift the eyelids on the falsehoods of reality, only through magic can we truly see between the lines and realise that the mundane world is shrouded in mysteries that only magic can answer. And so due to this fear of being stigmatised, I kept my magic a secret.

For the best part of a decade I studied and practised Ceremonial magic in private. Whenever my parents or housemates we’re out I’d grab my tools and begin my work. My library was growing, my collection of magical tools too, I was growing and flowering into a proficient 21st century Magus. Then two years ago I decided fuck it. I was tired of keeping a fundamental part of my spiritual beliefs and occult practises silent and so I outed myself as a ceremonial magician. Not to much fanfare however, everyone seemed largely indifferent, probably just another one of jack’s eccentricities. But no, magic is no hobby, no idle pastime or frivolity to me, magic is in my Veins and every breath, it is my true calling in life to study, explore and understand my place in this world through the Occult sciences. I am a magician who can charm you or tear you to pieces just as easily, I live in a demimonde of illusion, I achieve the impossible.

When you sit before the scrying glass and see a spirit looking into your eyes, you must reject all notions of a normal reality and accept wholeheartedly that magic is real.

[reggxe-a]

Necklace | Ignis Scientia x Reader

So Iggy is either my first or second favorite character in all of FFXV (his only rival is really just Ardyn sksksksk) and honestly there’s not many XV fanfics on here so take my horrible fluff :) Actually, not many authors include the fact that Iggy wears his skull necklace and I disregard it to so here is my way of remembering it.

Where Ignis Scientia accidentally leaves his skull necklace at Noctis’ apartment and finds out Y/N is wearing it.

Warnings: None

--- 

You quietly stared at the small chain necklace laying on the glass coffee table, fumbling with the buttons of the dress shirt you had on. Sunlight warmed your back and spread all around you throughout the vast, modernly decorated room. The small dents and curves of the skull pendant were glazed with rich highlights and dark shadows. The actual chain of the necklace was a little short, nevertheless a charming accessory.

Giving a quiet sigh before leaning back into the couch, your thought train was interrupted by the voice of your best friend. “What are you looking at?” Noctis questioned while weaving his way around the couch to face you and the small piece of jewelry. His lazy blue eyes made their way to the skull and he smirked once he figured out why you were so quiet. “Iggy left his necklace.”

“Yeah.” You huffed before standing up, taking hold of the school blazer on the couch and enveloping yourself in it. The jacket was your friend’s, or really, the prince’s. Your closest friend was the future king of Insomnia—and you were happy with that. More time to stare at his beautiful royal advisor.

You had always been close friends with Noct. Ever since your childhood, you and him would constantly banter and trail each other around. His kingly father even took note of your relationship and invited you to one of the royal galas a few years back. Your eighteen-year-old mind still can’t really comprehend why your little thirteen-year-old self was so stupid back then

You had worn a simple dress that night and seemed a bit childish due to its loose fit but heck, you were thirteen. The whole night was filled with trailing Noctis around until one of the songs. The prince had gleefully introduced you to his shield and advisor, who was a total cutie even back then. A small face was framed with quite large glasses and despite you thinking he was stuck up, you didn’t know you would fall in love with him now. Noctis ended up forcing you to dance with the fourteen-year-old advisor that night and boy did you hate it. You simply wanted to stay with the prince that night and you ended up ditching him at school the next day.

The present is a different story. Ignis Scientia, a prim and proper royal attendant, had stolen your heart. So as you returned your gaze to his own necklace that was in your reach, you thought about possible scenarios on how he would react if he saw it in your possession. Before you could elaborate more on your ideas, Noctis bent down and snatched the chain as you started to reach out for it. He gloated confidently as your eyebrow rose in annoyance.

Noctis wagged a finger in front of you before straightening. “It’s better that I return it. After all, I am his prince.” He beamed while you scoffed and stood from your place on the couch, grabbing your bag as well. “Unless,” He started while walking forward towards the door. “my great friend here would like to wear it for the day. She’s got a small crush on him anyway.” Your face reddened at the teen’s statement before you stomped in front of him, taking your place at the elevator after you exited the flat.

“It’d be a shame if she missed out on this opportunity to finally hint that she likes him.” Noct beamed as you seemed to grow even more annoyed. Your feet brought you outside to feel a slight gust of wind rush against you and the sun intensely firing down. As you walked in silence, Noctis sped ahead of you to gloat even more once he started to walk backwards to face you. “I bet little Y/N here would love to know if her crush liked her back.”

You have had enough of this boy! Noctis had been dangling the necklace loosely at chest-height the whole time so as you grasped the thing by the skull, you found it very easy. Unlocking the chain, you bowed your head and had it circle around your neck. Due to Noctis fondling with it the whole time, the chain was warm but the skull was cold against your skin. As you finished adjusting the accessory, you looked up at Noctis before raising your arm. “Tease me again and I won’t be afraid to rip your oh-so-precious jacket here.” You threatened but Noctis nonchalantly laughed it off.

“Please do. Ignis will just buy another one or repair it.” You swore to the Six that you would torture the future king yourself one day. The school building came into view quickly and as Noctis started to meet with his own friend group, you rapidly dashed to class.

Throughout the whole day you had been questioned about your new necklace. People swarmed around you to see the new type of fashion you had acquired and you brushed them off with “oh, I just found it lying around,” which wasn’t lying, but surely wasn’t telling the whole truth either. Prompto did have the nerve to boldly state that he knew who the necklace really did belong to and you had to bribe him to get him to shut up. Now with the new information, the gossipers of the school started thinking about who you were ‘dating’ if it wasn’t the prince. You had to quickly dismiss their thoughts once they came to you during lunch.

However, with the necklace, you felt safe. A weird feeling for you to have with a necklace. During language arts, you started thinking about the feeling, wondering if you and the royal advisor were connected somehow. You deemed it to be inappropriate to have these thoughts and tried pushing them away but they kept coming back.

Not only were you questioned about it, but you kept messing around with it too. While taking notes in math, your hands magically found their way up to the skull and rolled it along. It was calming to say the least. Some people took in the sight of you playing with it and made it evidence that you were very fond with it. They weren’t wrong but you didn’t want to admit that.

Now, you sit patiently at your desk during homeroom, waiting for the tardy bell to ring as students scampered in. Usually, you would have band during this period but all students had to work on their festival decorations. Leaning back, you closed your eyes and felt a weight on your desk. Grimacing, you opened them to find one of your friends (other than Noctis and Prompto, of course) crossing her legs and smiling down at you. You confusedly peered back as the tardy bell rang and your homeroom teacher announced to just work on the class decorations. Your friend smirked before leaning down. “I bet you are dating someone, aren’t you? You’re just hiding it because your boyfriend’s a sugar daddy.”

You angrily pouted and playfully punched her shoulder. “I’m not dating anyone. Plus, if I was, he wouldn’t be a sugar daddy.” You stated while getting your supplies out. She jumped off your desk and plopped into a chair from another one while sighing and crossing her arms. You felt like she was acting quite weird as she maliciously glared at you trying to get work done. Noctis and Prompto started to goof off while working so you had no one to run to for help. You tried to focus on cutting and coloring but her gaze was simply stabbing you. You bit your lip as your pencil’s tip broke, causing your hand to shake as you sketched a line.

“You’re lying to me. To us. To this whole school. You know, I wouldn’t mind if you just spat out that you’re dating his Royal Highness. At least you would be honest.” She devilishly stated. You gawked at her behavior but tried to keep on working on the project. “But I think the prince would never go for someone like you. He’s much more deserving of a—” “Don’t you have work to do? Like, the festival decorations?” You cut her off while skimming across your to-do list. How could you think this girl was your friend?

You felt a strong urge to punch her but instead your hand came up to squeeze the small skull resting upon the hollow between your collarbones. The small craters and dips of the object instantly calmed your nerves and you felt happy once again. However, your happiness was cut short as the girl jeered another insult. “I’ve got better things to do like listen to your sad love life story of how you deny having a boyfriend.” Oh, your blood boiled now. “I think that skull is just a memory of how your relationship is right now—sad and dead.”

Your eyebrows knitted together and you really wished the boys could help you. Giving a glance towards their direction, you saw them laughing about. You screamed in your head as you found the teacher laying back in his chair, taking a lazy nap. Pursing your lips, you rolled your shoulders in anticipation and stiffness.

A wish briefly crossed your mind. It was that the one and only Ignis would come to your rescue from whatever was happening right now.

Alas, things like that don’t happen in Insomnia. The girl cocked her head to one side and also seemed to become more and more frustrated. This caught the attention of some people as the girl started another rant. “Why don’t you just spit it out already!? It isn’t going to hurt anyone! Just say you’ve got a boyfriend.” She quipped with venom lacing her words. You stood from your chair abruptly, garnering the consideration of the rest of the class. Your flaming scowl pierced her soul now as you stood at a taller height than her.

At least the teacher finally noticed the situation as a visitor knocked at the door of the class. You widened your eyes and quickly sat back down. Your classmates mirrored your action as you impatiently waited for the door to open. Presuming it to be the principal, you tried to look like you were doing your hardest with your construction paper.

Remember when you dear author wrote down the words, “alas, things like that don’t happen in Insomnia.”? Ah, well this situation was an exception.

The teacher hollered for whoever was out there to come in and when a shiny, leather, dress shoe made it’s first step into the classroom, Noctis immediately knew who it was. He rose from his desk loudly and expressed a face of disbelief. “Iggy?” He queried as the tawny haired visitor entered the area fully. His hair was slicked back, a new style for the advisor that came about a few days ago, but a few strands still fell onto his forehead due to the lack of time invested into the hairstyle this morning. His sharp eyes were hooded by his glasses and were directed towards you and the girl still looking like she was going to murder you. His usual vest that accompanied his white button-up was gone but his slacks and shoes remained. He even had his gloves hanging out of one of his front pockets.

Your hardened exterior softened but you soon realized that his necklace was out in the open for him to see. The girl noticed your change of mood and looked behind her to see the royal advisor judging her. She quickly turned her face away to look at something else for the period of time he would be there.

Ignis wasn’t an uncommon sight at the school. If anything, he had his own secret fan club there. Be that as it may, he did not come to disrupt classes like this. “Ah, hello Mr. Scientia. If you need Noctis, he’s all yours.” The homeroom teacher welcomed him. Ignis swiveled around to smile gently at the man before nodding and returning his thoughts to what was going on. He gave a small grin at you and his eyes hinted at the little necklace around your neck. He sighed contently as you gave off your own little smile and recomposed himself to glare at Noctis. “Your Highness, you have been called by the council to visit Tenebrae. I have come to escort you though,” he paused and gave a little time to ponder for a moment. The class attentively had their attention on standby. “—I think the king would love for your friends to come along. It’s Friday and the end of the school day, after all.”

Noctis bit his lip in excitement not only to see Lunafreya, but to bring along some other people. He aligned his posture and skimmed along the waiting faces of the classroom. It wasn’t a joke to say they all expected to be brought along. You, on the other hand, wanted to be brought along for a reason different from theirs.

Noctis looked to his side to Prompto. “I pick Prompto and Y/N.” He gave you a look as you gasped at his choice. “Very well. I suggest you three to pack now.” Ignis stated and backed out of the room to wait in the hallway. You quickly gathered your belongings and exited with Prompto while Noctis had to take a little longer due to the chips he spilled on the floor.

As you exited, you felt a thousand frowns follow you and you sighed once you went out to stand by Ignis. He held his hand out to hold onto your suitcase of school supplies and you reluctantly handed it over. He already had Prompto’s in his other hand and planned on holding Noctis’ in that hand as well. You looked the other way, trying to avoid his eyes as much as possible as your fingers unlocked the chain from behind your neck. A voice stopped you. “Leave it on. It looks ravishing on you, Kitten.” He smiled and you felt your cheeks get a little hotter. You had heard Ignis call you the pet name before but it felt way more humiliating now. You clicked the necklace on again and let your hands fall by your sides as you leaned with your back against the wall, imitating the advisor’s stance next to you.

The door opened to reveal Noctis hunching over with his arm holding his bag over his shoulder. Multiple students rushed to see what was happening in the hallway and, without you noticing due to Ignis now resting his right arm on your left shoulder, had been brought back to their seats due to your friend’s intense gaze that made them feel it was fixed on them.

The four of you started to saunter your way to the exit of the school, Noct and Prompto snickering at the site of Ignis walking closer and closer to you. The action made your heart flutter and your thoughts crash into each other. The duo continued to walk in front of you and the advisor, making you feel much more comfortable with the nineteen-year-old at your side.

Ignis handed the school bags to a chauffer waiting patiently at the door of the building, freeing his arms of the weight. He then instructed him to drive to Prompto’s apartment before going to yours, you saying nothing out of pure nervous unease. The walk to the vehicle was tiring and awkward. That was, until you felt an arm wrap around your waist protectively. “I heard the ensuing insults thrown at you earlier, kitten. It truly pains me to know you had to suffer such a thing.” You giggled childishly, not leaning into Ignis’ embrace due to your own feelings. “I should have never thought of her as a friend—”

“I mean, how could a woman as beautiful as you have no significant other? It really is a sad thing.” You stopped your sentence once Ignis cut you off. He‘s talking about how you’re single!? His accent coated his words heavily but you could understand every single thing he was saying. Eyes widening, you looked up at the man. “Though,” He paused, stopping his steps as well. You instinctively looked down once he also tried to catch your eyes with his own jade green ones. The cement was a wonderful sight to you at the moment.

“...I could fix your little relationship problem. Yesterday, a child claiming to be the prince told me that the person who I fancy, has been in love with me as well for the past two years.” Do you want to slap Noctis right now? Yes and no. Thanking your best friend mentally, your mood changed from embarrassed to excited with the news.

“So do tell me, kitten, would you accompany me to a dinner at Tenebrae once we arrive? After all the important meetings, that is.” Ignis questioned smoothly before continuing. “It would also be a great time to return the necklace. I could ask for it right now, but it suits you so well I can’t bring myself to. Who knows? I may fail to ask for it again at the dinner.”  You felt a smile tug at your lips as you finally returned your gaze to meet his. “You little smooth snake!” You exclaimed enthusiastically while blithely slapping his chest. “I would take you as my ‘significant other’ any day, Mr. Scientia—even without that little dinner date!”

“So, I’ll take private supper at Tenebrae off the to-do list?”

“What? No! I still want to do that! That was just a joke—I mean I’m serious about having you without the fancy dinner because I just love you that much but like, I want the food—”

“I was kidding, my dear Kitten. And, I love you too.”

AN: I’m sorry this turned out so bad but I’m tired and I do not want to rewrite anything hhhhhnnngggg

[charlotte-bane-blog]

Challenge 1: Charlotte Bane

I didn’t edit this so I am truly and deeply sorry for all the mistakes and typos, but I hope whoever reads this that they enjoy it :) People mentioned: @berklee-boyer @alinaschreave @domschreave @princepercyschreave @princesslillianschreave

———————————————————

It’s easy to let your guard down. It’s easy to make mistakes. But five sets the record.

I was used to attending formal events growing up, but not as an invited guest. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I was completely terrified and insecure. Being a six in a room full of ones and twos was enough to knock down my ego a few pegs.

As my maids proceeded to set my hair and apply my makeup, I couldn’t help but think of the recently eliminated. There were girls sent home that I never imagined I’d make it further than. The process made me feel special but terrified. I felt that I could be thrown out at a moment’s notice.

“I’m not okay,” Berk exclaims as she swings open the door, effectively interrupting my thoughts.

My poor maid, startled, dropped her brush and glared at my blonde friend. “Berklee! What?”

“I don’t know! Something about my hair doesn’t seem right!”

I examined her hair to try to figure out what her issue was. “What about it?”

Berklee looked at me as if I was stupid before her faced formed into one of thought. “I don’t know. Like it looks amazing. Maybe I’m just nervous. Like what do you even do at a ball?”

I chuckled at her rambling. “Your hair is definitely gorgeous. And does it look like I would know? Aren’t you the know it all three,” I grinned.

“Stop,” she rolled her eyes. “But do I look okay?”

I let out a sigh. “You look beautiful, trust me.”

“Girl, you look so much better.”

I smiled a bit to myself. It was nice to be complemented once in awhile. With my former profession, I was used to being the one to offer my praise. This all felt so new, yet amazing. “I’m not even fully dressed,” I retorted, gesturing to my robe.

Berk gave me a flat look. “Whatever. Hurry up.”

“Just a second,” I hushed. “I have to finish up my hair. How is it by the way?”

“I love it! The twists are super cute,” she grinned.

I smiled and nodded at her before walking into my closet with my maid. She helped me into the gown since there was no possible way of me getting it on or off single handedly. Once the job was done, I stepped out to show Berk. “Here, how’s this?”

“Oh my god. That’s amazing! It’s so pretty! It’s so you!” The dress was a gorgeous emerald color that reached the floor. There was a 90% chance I’d end up tripping over it at least once tonight.

“Thanks, Berk,” I said awkwardly. “We should probably head over now. Wouldn’t want to be late.”

With that said, Berk and I made our way out of the room and down to the ball. I was met with beautiful decorations and a striking wave of anxiety. I took a deep breath and walked towards the Bitch Squad for a small photo session with the press. I smiled at them and spoke to them for a bit before leaving the group. I still have no clue why I left. I probably should’ve stayed with a friend to help my nerves. But, alas, I had made the first mistake of the night.

I glanced around the room before deciding to busy myself with a few refreshments. I noticed a guard eyeing me closely, so I grabbed a drink, hoping it would discourage him from starting a conversation with me. This plan did not work.

“Hey, princess, how are you,” the guard smirked.

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye uneasily. “I'm… uh… okay.”

He inched closer to me. “Wanna dance?”

I stepped back. “I don’t think so…”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

The guard leaned back. “Alright, but find me when you change your mind. Because you will.”

I cringed. “Okay…” I definitely wasn’t going to change my mind. I stepped away from him quickly and looked around for an easy exit or distraction. I was definitely distracted as I saw Evan and Kat talking. Percy had mentioned before of his thoughts toward the pair. He said he felt his brother was a bit hypocritical. Evan must’ve thought the same thing since he seemed to leave Kat quite suddenly. Huh, I thought.

I found a comfortable area to sit in as I watched the ball go on. I was kicking myself for not enjoying this ordeal like all the other Selected seemed to. This could be your life, I scolded myself. You have to get a grip.

Pulling me out of my thoughts, an older woman strutted towards me regally. “Is there something wrong, darling, or are you just not a party person?”

I looked up a bit startled. It was Princess Lillian, Percy’s mom. This should be fun. “Everything’s fine,” I smiled weakly. “This is just a bit new for me.”

Lillian sneered down her nose as if she thought she was better than everyone else. She probably did. “Well, you’d better get used to it if you ever hope to join the royal family.”

Though what she had said was true and something I had already told myself, I wasn’t comfortable with the way she spoke to me. To be honest, it sounded like my own mother.

“Guess you’re right. My apologies, your highness,” I said, gritting my teeth. “I didn’t mean to offend you so greatly.” I didn’t sound sincere at all.

“Of course you didn’t.” Do you not understand sarcasm, Mrs. Schreave? Lillian eyed me more carefully. Part of me was worried she could read my mind. “Which one are you again?”

Should I say someone else’s name, I asked myself. Nope, definitely not. That would end very badly. “Charlotte, ma'am.”

Her eyes flashed with recognition. “Ahh, you’re the one my youngest is so obsessed with.”

Youngest? “Callie? Funny. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting her yet.”

“No, I mean Percy of course.” Poor, ignored Callie.

“Right, Percy. I’m not sure I follow.”

Lillian pinched the bridge of her nose. “What don’t you follow dear girl? It’s not that complicated.”

My patience was definitely running out with this woman. Whatever I had drunken earlier wasn’t helping my control at all. “I don’t follow,” I began slowly, “why you would choose the word ‘obsessed’. It’s not that complicated,” I mocked.

“You’re all he talks about. You’re all the media talks about in regards to him. Seems like an obsession to me.” This woman didn’t seem too fond of this realization.

I shrugged. “I prefer the word ‘interested’, don’t you? Sounds less crazy. You wouldn’t want people thinking your son was crazy.”

“My son is crazy, darling. Both of them are, in their own ways. The trick is just learning to accept it.”

Don’t say it, Charlotte. Don’t say it.

“Did you also accept yourself?”

Why? Why did I do that? This would be the second mistake of the night.

“Excuse me,” Lillian blurted.

Shoot. I have to fix this. “Just that if your sons are both crazy, in lovable ways I assume, wouldn’t you say you are too?” Total B.S.

Lillian look absolutely appalled. “No, of course I am not! How dare you accuse me as such,” she exclaimed.

“I didn’t accuse you of anything. I simply asked a question.”

“Mmhmm. A question insinuating that I am, in fact, crazy. Which I am clearly not.” Yeah…

I simply nodded. “Clearly.”

Lillian crossed her arms. “Well, is there anything else or are you able to enjoy my party now?” Oh yes, I’m just having a grand time.

“I’m enjoying it immensely,” I grit out. “Thanks for asking.” There wasn’t a genuine bone in my body in that moment.

“Excellent. Have a nice rest of your evening,” she responded before turning to leave. When she finally walked away, I let out a deep sigh. Lillian was the mother of Evan, Percy, and Callie. I haven’t met Callie or Evan personally but I knew they weren’t awful. And Percy… he wasn’t too bad.

I forced myself to stand up. I may not have been having the best of times, but I might as well try to be social for a bit. If I was feeling miserable after trying, I’d leave. Simple as that.

I spotted Berklee and decided to make some conversation. “Hey, Berk. Enjoying yourself?”

She turned around and smiled at me. “Yeah expect that my feet are killing me. You?”

“Horrible. I just got done having a lovely conversation with Princess Lillian.”

“What happened,” she asked concerned.

“I was already feeling pretty awkward and she wasn’t really happy about that. But, she said her youngest was obsessed with me. I’ve never even met Callie. She did correct herself and say Percy, but whatever. You’ve spoken to Callie, right,” I rambled.

“Yes I have. She’s the cutest,” Berklee grinned. She really seemed to love that girl. “She’s right over there if you want to talk to her.” She pointed over to a little girl with blondish hair.

“Yeah, sure. Why not?” Berklee grabbed my hand and led me over to the youngest royal. Callie was a whirlwind of energy. She was pretty funny for a little kid. Though the moment she mentioned that I seemed to be the topic of conversation quite frequently. “Oh!! YOU’RE Charlotte!!” Callie exclaimed after I was introduced by Berklee.

“I’M Charlotte?”

Callie grinned. “Yeah. I keep hearing your name, but didn’t know what you looked like.” This little girl seemed to have a mischievous glint in her eye. She acted innocent, but I had a feeling she knew exactly what she was talking about.

Berklee and I shot her a questioning glance. “You keep hearing her name,” Berk asked.

“Yeah. Dom and Percy talk about her a lot.” I flushed at her response. I hoped it wasn’t anything too awful. It probably wasn’t bad at all. Percy and Dom were interesting guys, but I doubted they were the type to gossip. I think.

Callie continued to ramble about her silly antics and never fail to embarrass me with talk about her brother and cousin. She was a good kid.

Berk and I said our goodbyes as she left to enjoy more of the ball. I stood there for a moment thinking about what else I could do to pass the time and maybe actually have fun there.

“Hey there, angel,” someone whispered from behind me, sliding their arms around me.

I jumped away from the person and whipped around. “Jeez, what is wrong with you!? You scared me half to death,” I yelled at Percy.

He simply laughed. “Sorry, I thought it was funny.”

“I’m sure you did.” I retorted sarcastically. “What are you doing over here?”

“Just… came to check in on things. How are you feeling about being at your first ’royal ball’,” he said with raised brows and finger quotes.

“Not… well to be honest. Lots of anxiety in me at the moment,” I sighed and offered him a small smile.

“Why? Just cause I scared you,” he teased.

“No.” I rolled my eyes. “Because I’m not used to this. It’s stressful doing new things, I’ve come to learn.”

Percy shrugged. “Yeah, I get that. But seriously, there’s nothing to worry about here. It’s just the Selected and my family. No big deal. It’s not like you need to worry about the Czar of Russia showing up or anything.”

“But I do need to worry about Illean Royalty being here,” I pointed out.

“Nah, we’re not as special as people think. Really, just be yourself and you’ll be fine. Or just ignore them. That works too,” he joked. Percy looked around the room. “Listen, I have to be seen talking to more than one person, but if you can survive the rest of this ball, I’ll save the last dance of the night for you. Okay?”

“Okay.” Not okay. I really didn’t want to left by myself. I didn’t want him to leave.

Percy gave me an encouraging smile before walking away. I watched his retreating figure and say him turn towards the direction of Aricia. My chest tightened.

I never considered myself an overly emotional person. Everything I felt, I usually kept inside, and I was not about to let it all out. I needed to get out of there.

I stalked towards the exit and say Alina by the door. I figured I’d at least greet her. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I love Alina. But what I did next shone that moment in a negative light. “Oh… Hey Alina.”

“Charlotte,” she exclaimed, drink in hand. “Where are you going?”

I wracked my mind for an excuse. “Just thought I’d take an early night.”

“Noooo! What happened?” She was clearly drunk.

“Nothing,” I glanced towards the dancing couple. “This just isn’t really my scene. I just haven’t gotten used to all this yet.”

“Well that’s because you haven’t had anything to drink!” Alina looked at me as if I was crazy. “Come on, let’s find out what you like!”

“I don’t know, Alina… “ I’ve never had a real drink before. I wasn’t sure if I could even hold my liquor. Percy and Aricia weren’t worth getting drunk over. I looked over towards them again and practically threw my last thought out the window. “You know what? Never mind. I’ll try those pink drinks.” And that was the third mistake.

“Hell yeah you will!” Alina dragged me towards the refreshment table and grabbed me a glass.

I took a sip of the blushed liquid. I burned a bit but had a fruity aftertaste. “It’s not that bad, I guess.”

“It’ll get worse if you keep sipping it like that! Chug!” Wait, what? I wanted to say no. I should’ve said no. I didn’t say no.

I took a deep breath and drank a large gulp. “Oh my God, what’s in this?”

“Keep going,” Alina encouraged and ignored my question. “You can’t get drunk off one glass, so you better chug faster.”

Stupidly, I followed suit. I finished the drink and pressed my palm to my forehead. I still wasn’t feeling it. By then, I wanted to. I wanted it to distract me. “Give me another.”

It took about three drinks to really get to me. It really got to me. “I think we’re done now,” Alina giggled.

I was beginning to why people drank and also why they didn’t. “The room is spinning, oh God,” I stumbled. “This night sucks. Like super sucks.”

“Why?!”

“People. People suck.” He sucks. “You know what, I wanna dance. I’m going to dance.” Before Alina could even get a word in, I stormed onto the dance floor. I needed a dance partner. Maybe that creep of a guard from earlier. Yeah, he’d work. I search the room for him, trying my best to clear my blurred mind. I spotted a tall guy with brown hair and figured it was him. Even if it wasn’t, it didn’t matter. I just needed someone. “We should dance.” I grabbed the guard before recognizing him as someone else. “Oh wait… uh. You’re not the guard from earlier…”

Prince Dominic Schreave. Of course.

That was my fourth mistake of the night.

“Well, hello there, Charlotte.” Dom smirked.

“Your highness… I’d curtsy, but I don’t think it’s possible in this position.” Dom and I were a dancing form. I was trying my best to act ‘not drunk’. I’m pretty sure I was failing. I was sure he could smell the alcohol in my breath. Just great.

“No need to curtsy. Are you feeling okay? You seem a little… high-strung.” He glanced at me worriedly.

“It’s just really hot in here. Do you think it’s hot in here?”

“I don’t know. Hmm… maybe it’s just you,” he winked.

I let out an overly loud laugh. Yeah, that’s not obvious at all. “You’re so funny! Who knew you were so funny? Wow.”

“Yeah, I am pretty funny… Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Is ‘no’ an acceptable answer?” I grinned.

Dom raised his eyebrows. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Probably not, I thought. That’s what the drinks were for.

“Tell me what’s in the pink drinks they’ve been serving here?”

“The Amarula Sunsets? Please tell me you didn’t drink one…” Dom looked actually freaked out now. How sweet. He wasn’t the one I wanted to worry.

“I didn’t drink one. I drank three,” I giggled.

Dom’s eyes widened. “Holy… Charlotte, those things are filled with vodka! And I’m guessing you haven’t had much of a chance to drink in the past, so you haven’t built up any tolerance… maybe someone should take you back to your room…”

“No, no I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” I stumbled. “I’m so sorry. This is really embarrassing…” I looked over towards Percy, hoping he didn’t see that, but didn’t spot him at all. Where was he?

“Charlotte, are you okay,” ran over and asked frantically. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

“I’m fine,” I grumbled.

Percy glared at me. “You don’t look fine.” He looked over to Dom. “What happened?”

I hated he looked at me that way. I hated that it bothered me at all. I didn’t want my emotions to get out, yet I let them get the best of me. I drank to make myself forget them, but lost control of them altogether.

“She drank too many of those Sunsets,” he replied.

Percy ran a hand through his hair. “Char, why would you do something so stupid?”

“I didn’t realize what was in them,” I bit. I may not have known what type of alcohol was in those drinks, but I knew what I was doing. In the back of my mind I knew I was being stupid. “You’re stupid.”

Dom nodded towards Percy and stepped away, seeing he could handle this.

“Why am I stupid, angel? You’re the one drinking things when you don’t know what they are.” I knew.

“Th-they were pretty.” I stumbled again and fell into Percy. God, this was embarrassing. I was so pissed off. And for what? A guy? What would my mother think…

Percy catches me. “Maybe I should take you to your room…”

“Don’t flirt with me,” I slurred into his shirt.

He let out a laugh. “For once, I’m not trying to. Come on,” he said as he led me towards the doors.

From that point, I can only remember mumbling random things to Percy. As we got closer to my room, a strong wave of nausea hit me. “I feel like I’m going to be sick.”

Percy groaned. “Ok, let’s hurry this up.” He picked me up bridal style and raced me into my room.

“Percy, I swear to God if you drop me…”

He grinned wickedly. “Never.”

“Put me down anyway,” I scolded. “You have to leave. I’m going to be sick. Why the hell do people drink?” I knew why I did at least.

“No, I gotta make sure you don’t choke on your own puke. And I don’t have any clue why people drink. I guess to make themselves seem more interesting. I’ve never had any interest though,” he responded as he carried me into my bathroom and set me down.

“You’re already interesting.” I dropped to the toilet and leaned over to breathe. Percy gathered my hair up and held it back.

“Exactly why I don’t need to drink. And neither do you.”

It was quiet for a little while as I steadied my breathing. The feeling of throwing up was beginning to leave. “I think I’m fine. Nausea passed.”

Percy rubbed my back. For the second time that night, my chest tightened. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“This was the worst night ever,” I said lowly.

He chuckled. “It absolutely was not the worst night ever. I have had SO much worse.”

“Did you make a complete fool of yourself in front of someone you’re supposed to try to impress,” I retorted.

“You ever heard of strip poker?”

“You’ve played strip poker? You’re 17.” Sure, I was one to talk. I was getting drunk at 17.

“Yeah. Word of advice, never play it when an African King is in the next room over. And you’re playing against his daughter.”

“Of course. His daughter,” I muttered and rolled my eyes.

“Yeah… being a little drunk in front of a few minor royals is nothing compared to that… You should’ve seen Uncle Jameson’s face,” Percy laughed humorlessly and shook his head slightly.

“Are you okay?” I actually worried about Percy. I wasn’t exactly sober but I wasn’t fully drunk either. I wanted him to talk to me.

“Yeah, just… I’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life… Well, I think you need to get to bed. Sleep off the embarrassment and hope you don’t wake up with a wicked hangover.”

The room became quiet. “You never danced with me.”

Percy looked at me nervously. “Are you…,” he cleared his throat to continue. “Are you feeling well enough for a dance?”

I looked looked up hesitantly. “Are you asking me to dance?”

Percy stared at me for a moment. I couldn’t make out the look on his face. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Then I feel well enough.”

Percy smiled softly. “Well, okay then.” He pulled me closer to him and let me rest my head on his shoulder as we began to sway slightly.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

Percy tightened his hold on me. “What are you sorry for, angel?”

“For being an idiot,” I started. “For getting jealous and not thinking.”

Percy jerked in surprise. “Jealous? Of what?”

I glanced up at him and shook my head quickly. “N-nothing. It’s nothing.”

“No, tell me… Please.” The look on his face and in his eyes told me I couldn’t lie or refuse him. I wanted to.

I dropped my head. “You… other girls… her.”

Percy let out a breath. “You know I have to dance with other girls if they ask, right?”

I looked away quickly. “I know. Of course I know that.”

“Then why’d you let yourself get so drunk? I know it wasn’t entirely an accident. You’re too smart for that.”

“That’s the thing, Percy. I’m not smart. I’m a six. I’m a stupid maid. I can’t be some princess or three,” I pointed out. I knew I wasn’t exactly his type. I knew there was no point to what I’d done tonight. There was no point to any of this. I was a pastime for him. I wasn’t a real prospect. I was just me.

Percy stared at me. “You were smart enough not to trust me at first.”

“I wasn’t smart enough to not let myself get hurt so easily by trivial things that… that shouldn’t even concern me.” I ran my hand through my hair. It was a while before we said anything.

“Everyone has their limitations, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” I scoffed at his joke. “Anyway, you really should be getting some sleep…”

“Maybe I should…” Percy made no move to leave. “I’m still in my dress.”

He grinned. “Do you need help getting out of it?”

I looked down quickly. “Actually, yes.”

Percy flushed and I strangely loved the sight. “Oh, um…. What do you normally sleep in?”

“Whatever is given to me. Usually a night gown. They’re in the closet over there,” I gestured.

Percy nodded and walked to the closet. He ruffled through the hangers before pulling out a skimpy nightgown. He turned around with a questioning look and his signature smirk.

“Definitely not. Grab the white one,” I said flatly.

He chuckled and pulled it out. “I see. So you’re going for the pure, virginal one.” Nothing wrong with that.

“You don’t call me angel for nothing.”

He smiled slightly. “Alright, turn around.” I followed suit. “Hold onto your dress.” I grabbed the front and held it to my chest. Percy slowly pulled down the zipper of my dress. The whole ordeal felt very intimate. Time seemed to slow down and everything faded away. Every problem outside my top was silenced.

When the zipper reached its final point, Percy stilled for a moment. He began to speak but his voices cracked. I smiled to myself. “Ok I’m going to put the nightgown over your head,” he instructed. “So now you can drop the dress.”

“Okay,” I responded quietly. I dropped my dress and tugged the nightgown down fully. I turned around slowly. “Thanks, Percy.”

“You’re welcome, Char,” he replied sincerely. “Alright.” Percy put his hands under my knees and lifted me up. “Let’s get you to bed.” He carried me over and gently set me onto my bed, lifted the covers, and tucked me in. He stood back up to leave.

“Percy, wait.”

“What?”

I hesitated before reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. “You’re a good guy.”

He stared at me with wide eyes and let out a small laugh. “I know, but people never seem to realize it…” He looked at me seriously. “Are you going to be okay now, angel?”

“Yeah,” I said softly. “I’ll be okay.”

He took my hand in his and squeezed it before letting it go. “Good night, Char.” Percy walked to the door but hesitated like he was nervous to leave. With one last glance, he stepped out of the room.

That was my fifth and final mistake of the evening– letting him.